"Oh I Just Can't Wait To Be King!!!"

If a picture says 1000 words, this picture would repeat the words "Awesome, Baller, Pimp, WTF and Awkward" 200 times each. Do not be fooled, this is an actual photo of Prince William holding a girl by the hair who is writing the word "King" on his chest with what appears to be her lipstick. God help us all if it is not.

For me, the most amazing part of this picture is the girl. She is pretty creative to...

A. figure out that lipstick can be a makeshift marker come an emergency situation. What could be more serious than reminding the Prince of England that he will be king in such dramatic fashion? I'm fairly sure he did not need to be reminded of who he is.
B. have the balls to open Slick Willy's shirt and tag on his chest. Maybe she was just writing her tag on him? I am strongly guessing not. I hear you can be sentenced to death by the royal family's dragon for graffiti.

Anyway, besides the sexual tone of this picture, it is more horrifying than it is awesome. I feel this photo is part of a scrap book of images surrounding Prince William, abusing women, beheading poor people, kicking babies and hanging out with Flavor Flav or (insert your least favorite DJ/Night Life person here _______.) There are some serious theories that identify William as the Anti Christ and a major player in the Illuminati and pictures like this only encourage these hippies to smoke more pot and play hacky sack. Even though it is a very valid theory. See for yourself.

Nonetheless, I am happy to see that the young prince is behaving in a way that I approve of. As if he gave a shit about me. Granted, if I were Prince William, there would be 3 overweight booty chicks writing "His Majesty" on my ass with a mix of high priced Iraqi oil and freshly icecap drowned polar bear blood. Not to mention the Chinese boy that I call Mexican massaging my ankles during the fiasco. (Probably in poor taste, but please save your cruel responses until after the Free Tibet party I am organizing.)

Lastly, I would have an unpaid intern follow me around, fanning me with a palm leaf in one arm and a ghetto blaster in the other playing...



God Save the Future Queen

- Johnsville